07.25.06
Review- Lady in the Water
Let me get this out into the open: I am a fan of M. Night Shyamalan. His films have entranced me so much that I even felt partial towards The Village. Yes it’s true. Despite a twist ending that people tore apart, I actually found the atmosphere and writing to be quite impressive. With this being said, I think I am the only person in the world that appreciated The Village. This led me to question many things such as, “Am I eternally biased towards M. Night’s films?” I’ve pondered this for the past couple of years, and now that question is resolved with the director’s recent bedtime story Lady in the Water. I am pleased to announce that there exists no bias towards the director. It is now clear that M. Night Shyamalan can make one train wreck of a film.
Unlike his prior films, this is more family-oriented and does not contain a revelatory twist ending. Cleveland Heep (Paul Giamatti) is a stuttering apartment building superintendent that is surprised to find a mysterious woman swimming the pool at night. This woman is a magical narf named Story (Bryce Dallas Howard) brought to these apartments to awaken inspiration in a writer meant to change the world. Playing this world-changing writer is M. Night Shyamalan (gag me). However, the narf’s beneficial actions are countered by wolf-like beasts called “scrunts”.
I wanted so badly to enjoy Lady in the Water, but not since Dreamcatcher have I seen a film plunge non-stop into a pit of absurdity. As the film progresses, the audience is introduced to the quirky inhabitants of the apartment building including Jeffrey Wright as crossword prodigy, Jared Harris as a stoner, and Bob Balaban as an uppity film and book critic. These over-the-top characters are quickly introduced to the narf, and have no problem playing into the real-life fantasy. I know film is all about escapism, but I could only wonder to myself why all of these characters passively submitted to such dorky nonsense. Listening to theses people discuss the elaborate prophesying of the narf is like listening to 12-year-olds discuss Dungeons and Dragons at Pizza Hut. For this reason, I found myself not caring even when the conversations lost me.
In the end I could only shake my head in disbelief at Shyamalan’s little mess. He truly has lost it. With his anti-Disney account being published at the same time as this film’s release, and the poor box office numbers, I fear this film will hurt him badly. Lady in the Water is apparently a bedtime story the director used to tell his children, and they truly is sweet. Unfortunately the only people that give a crap about this yarn live in the Shyamalan household.
Grade: D
07.23.06
Clerks and Haunted Houses
After a lull weekend of Little Man and You, Me, and Dupree, the weekend of July 22nd kicks back into action with four anticipated blockbusters: Lady in the Water, Clerks 2, My Super Ex-Girlfriend, and Monster House. This weekend I only had a chance to see two of these flicks and plan on seeing the remainder this week. However, here is what I’ve collected so far:
First up is Monster House. With CGI technology becoming more and more prevalent, the animation genre has lost its novelty. Yes it is now possible for poorly written CGI cartoons to exist. This is why it is so refreshing for a new concept to come alone. Something that blows mediocre generic trash out of the water. While Cars charmed my socks off as Pixar films tend to do, Monster House impressed me with its boldness to gloss over forced humor and mega-stars, and instead focus on a twisted horror story that, despite the whimsical marketing campaign, is not for little kids. This is an animated film with an emphasis on direction from newcomer Gil Kenan, and the creepy atmosphere is what keeps blood pumping through its veins. Monster House may not be child’s play, but I think it is one of this summer’s fresh surprises. While the overrated Pirates attracts the same people over and over, I fear this animated gem will go overlooked. I highly suggest this film for older children and adults alike.
Grade: A-
Next up is the long-awaited sequel Clerks 2. If you are familiar with Kevin Smith, then you probably know Dante and Randall. They are the two customer-hating twenty-somethings that spent every hour of their lives scraping by on minimum wage while working at a convenience store. Well the duo is back ten years later. After the convenience store is burnt to a crisp, Randall and Dante are forced to find solace in the fast food industry. However, now in their 30’s, the disgruntled pals spend the day reflecting where their lives have gone, and what they should do next to improve themselves. And yes, there is Jay and Silent Bob.
Like most sequels, this is inferior to the original film. On a higher budget in crisp color, it lacks the depressing tone that the original brought with it. Seeing non-professional actors Brian O’Halloran and Jeff Anderson on high quality film is a little befuddling at times. However, Smith’s humor is still intact, and the R-rated humor is a breath of fresh air. Despite a few over-the-top gags involving bestiality, and Smith going the distance with a mushy romantic subplot, Clerks 2 made me laugh. If all comedies were R-rated, this sequel may pale in comparison. But let’s face it: Hollywood wants money from the watered-down PG-13 comedy. Comedy writers with the freedom to curse is a gift from above. Clerks 2 is not comedy gold, but I certainly enjoyed the jokes and the way it chooses to close the book on Jersey’s favorite slackers. However, I am sure this will not be the last time we get a dose of Smith’s quirky shenanigans.
Grade: B
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